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his designs at a fashion show.
Wilson was aghast at the mess Skag had made in the house
with every room lined with dirty dishes, dog ends and needles.
Thankfully the culprit had done a disappearing act so that there
wasn t an unpleasant scene. Karim had also gone, leaving a note
telling them he had gone on a break to Afghanistan.
Chapter VIII
Finally this novel becomes exciting
and actually delivers all the stuff that
some bloke from  The Times promised
on the back cover.
Julius had become prone to meditating bare foot on the lawn
of an afternoon as if seriously contemplating something. In
Wilson s opinion trouble was afoot.
 He drinks far less ale, he remarked to Benjamin.  And
seldom tends to the runner beans.
 Perhaps he s having second thoughts and wants to return to
the monastery.
 Poor man, sighed Wilson.  Doubts about one s faith can
really undermine one s whole being and sense of purpose. I once
knew a chauffeur who had such doubts. He went through a
breakdown and ended up becoming rather bitter and twisted before
joining the London Bus company.
 Must be difficult, Benjamin had never thought about
religion to any great extent. God was just somebody who probably
existed but if he didn t then it wasn t worth getting uptight about.
 And there was this other chap who hung about in Christian
circles for years with all these doubts running about his head. In
the end he left the Parish all together. The congregation were very
upset. It took months to get a new Vicar.
Julius sat down for dinner that evening with a grave
expression over his Spaghetti Bolognese. Drinking more red wine
than usual he barely acknowledged Benjamin, Wilson or Skag.
 Are you alright Julius? asked Wilson.
 Yes, thanks Wilson, replied Julius knocking back his wine
before pouring more.  I just have to prepare myself for a
dangerous but crucial time in my life.
 Really? Skag choked on his pasta.  You gonna renounce
your celibacy?
 No, Julius shook his head.  I have a mission, assigned to
me by the order and quite an honour, but dangerous and full of
risks all the same.
 What would that be Brother Julius? enquired Wilson.
 The order has located the Prince of Darkness, he continued
despite both Skag and Benjamin spitting out their food.  They have
chosen a band of monks to assassinate him for the good of
mankind!
 Really sir? Wilson was fascinated.  Well that sounds jolly
exciting. And where is the anti-Christ currently located?
 I cannot reveal that but we plan to hunt him down and end
his life before he destroys the world.
 Who the fuck believes that rubbish? guffawed Skag.
 Anyway, how do you envisage killing him?
 The Daggers of Babylon, nodded Julius solemnly.  There
are seven of them. Each one of our band will possess one as we
hunt him down. Any normal knife wouldn t be sufficient but the
daggers are, according to legend, the only weapons that can kill
him. Our order procured them from an archaeologist in Jerusalem.
 So when do you depart for this mission? asked Wilson.
 In a few days I will be catching a plane to Rome.
 Why you? asked Skag.  I thought you were something of a
maverick? A loose cannon and a non-believer! How come they trust
you of all people?
 Because they feel my experience of the outside world and
society in general will be invaluable.
 Really?
 And my black belts in Judo and Karate should come in
handy.
 Surely the anti-Christ will be a tricky customer? Wilson had
been on enough death defying adventures over the years to
appreciate that attempting to kill the Devil might be full of pitfalls.
 Certainly, agreed Julius with a grimace.  He is a powerful
man who has surrounded himself with plenty of people who will
fight us to the death to protect him. He also has a connection with
nature so that crows and jackals might attack us at any given
moment.
 Sounds like you ve got your work cut out then, remarked
Benjamin.  What s for pudding Wilson?
Julius packed up his possessions a few days later, assuring
Benjamin that he would continue paying the rent while on his
travels. Apparently the Vatican were more than happy to finance
the mission and cover any additional expenses. He wrote down
Benjamin s bank details to give to the Pope.
 Well this is it, Benjamin said as Julius stood on the
threshold to passport control in Heathrow.  Good luck my friend!
They hugged then Wilson shook his hand firmly.
 May God be with you Brother Julius, Wilson patted his
arm.  If at any point you need my help please feel free to call
upon me.
 Thank you Wilson, Julius smiled.  You are a gentleman, a
scholar and, most importantly, a butler.
Julius flew First Class to Rome where he met up with six
other monks from various orders. They conversed in Latin as they
boarded a plane to Jerusalem to meet with an old Professor who
had identified the Second Coming after reading scriptures in some
tombs near the Sobbing Wall.
 He s here! he proclaimed as he fell to his knees.  The
hour of darkness is imminent! He s been waiting two thousand
years& 
 Why is it always two thousand years? Julius asked.  This
millennium stuff is silly. Just because we hit 2000 they expect us to
be visited as if Satan or Jesus set their watches for it.
 He is here! the Professor clutched a wooden crucifix and
bowed, his head scraping the floor.  He is here.
 Nutter! Julius said to the Sicilian Monk who just frowned at
the young upstart.
From there they were directed, ironically, to London where
the target was apparently staying in a penthouse. Rather than stay
in a hotel Julius returned to the house with his six chums much to
the surprise of Wilson.
 Back so soon sir?
 Rather conveniently he is in London at the moment, Julius
said before he and his comrades trooped into the house.
 He? The evil He?
 Oh yes, replied Julius.
 I d better fetch the bunk beds from the attic and get the
spare linen! We shall discuss this over dinner, Wilson excitedly
ran up to the loft to retrieve the rusty bunk beds which he had to
assemble wherever there was space in the house. Two went in his [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]