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time he's in charge. Whether the job fits or not, he's got to like it. He
incarnates, he'll still be the same old Lee, more or less, and male. It could
be more of a demotion than he wants to think about. I'm sure there's been a
lot of soul-searching and breast-beating there, but they're going to have to
do it. They can't afford any more losses. The number of committed people is
down. If they can't get them back, they may wind up ceding control to us. I
think they'll move rather than do that."
But since they weren't in any immediate danger of going, neither were we, and
things pretty well settled in for another couple of months. This allowed for
some adjustments to my own life as well.
Frankly, I would have preferred to keep the Cosmos City version of myself if
I had had that kind of vote. It was in super shape, seemed to stay that way no
matter what I did or didn't do or eat or whatever, and it felt comfortable. It
unfortunately had a drawback in the physical department, though, that made it
a real problem for any long-term use.
It was a platonic, neuter-type body.
That is, it was a woman's body, all right, but it didn't have the interior
plumbing or the capacity for orgasm. You couldn't even turn on, and frankly,
you didn't want to. Now, that doesn't mean that I didn't still love Rick or
feel like Angel's mommie; it was just that I had no desire to do anything
physical with Rick, and that wasn't fair to him.
My old body still lived, maintained in a kind of coma, with all the vital
stuff going on and supported by an LSU for auto-matic exercising, intravenous
feeding, waste collection, and the like, but there was no "there" inside that
head. More, it had been maintained in that static, unchanging field I'd
created for it when I had escaped from Vern's place. To remove that with-out
somebody being "home" would be to kill it, but that body had all the plumbing,
including a nearly eight-month-old fetus that had been caught up in that
maintenance field as well.
They trotted out Father Pete to discuss things. He was pretty blunt for a
priest, but he was also dealing with something those seminary lessons and
little books don't prepare you for. "They tell me that they can't maintain the
body. If the institute de-cides to move, we'll need that LSU. We should
disconnect and flush now. We can't get the baby out unless there's
conscious-ness there, since the moment we counter that static program loop,
the body will quickly deteriorate. The odds of it lasting long enough or being
strong enough on its own to survive even an immediate cesarean are just about
nil."
"I wouldn't want to do that. You know how I have to go on this, Father.
What do you want me to do? Or what would you advise?"
He sighed. "It's not that easy, Rini. You're almost a mental duplicate of
Cory; you know the score. We don't know how to do any body switching or stuff
like that. What we do is copy programs, alter programs, and transfer
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information. I can't put you back in that body. Frankly, neither I nor anybody
else in this universe understands how you got out of it in the first place.
Oh, I can follow it mathematically, but I still can hardly believe it.
What we can do is take that Brand Box there and copy everything that's you
mentally into it, then copy that back into that body. Period. She'll wake up,
we'll be able to neutral-ize the stasis loop, the body and the kid will start
normal devel-opment again, and that'll be that. She should be normal and go
home to Rick."
I swallowed hard. "I see. And when Lee orders the move, everybody else here
goes, too, including Cory. And I'm stuck here with no life, no future, no
nothing."
"You could be a sister," he suggested. "Baby-sit, keep in touch with the kids,
and you've got a level of sophisticated knowledge that is still ahead of this
world."
I shook my head. "You and I know that knowledge won't do squat. I don't have a
real past, I don't have any education on the record, and there's no reason why
anybody should hire me."
"You remember the medical director at Stanford who was so impressed with
the network design when you were crippled? Cory wasn't any better off in those
areas than you are. There's an established California ID for you, and it was
sufficient to qualify you for some state assistance, so between those two
things I would think there are wedges in for a smart person, and you're a
smart person. The personality, the soul that you more or less share, was down
and defeated by a crippled body but managed to pull itself up and out. You're
disgustingly healthy. We had the doctor examine both Cory and you absolutely
identical, by the way, including DNA, fingerprints, retinal patterns, the
works and it's quite likely you have in-credible healing and an immune system
that's beyond belief."
"I'm not sure I want to go anywhere near Stanford or maybe even California
again," I told him. "Too many memories, too much paranoia, and probably an
outstanding stolen car war-rant, too, at the least."
"Pick a state, a country, an institution. I think we can arrange something for
you. You have full Catholic training in the faith. Consider one of the orders,
perhaps. Your lack of sexual drive would probably be an advantage there. It's
up to you, but we must know."
I thought a bit. Maybe he was right. "Well, why not leave me some of the money
you can't take with you and I'll see a little of the world first, maybe find
some kind of education. I'm willing to try. Who knows? When the last of your
folks dies here, it's possible that all this, everything, will cease to exist.
Until then, maybe I will see what I can see."
"Very well. Rick has definitely decided to remain behind, then?"
I nodded. "For the kids, really. I mean, he's never had them. He and the real
Rini might well have a hell of a nice, long life here, maybe even see
grandkids. All the time you'll be sleep-ing and sliding on that crazy circuit
board roller coaster, going around and around until he comes out there."
I knew Father Pete understood the hurt and the sense of aloneness I was
already feeling, apart and always doomed to be apart, but he didn't let on
about it. It would be a strange life, but who knew?
In the meantime I'd also be part of that circuit board roller coaster set
marking time, since everything I had, both as Rini and as Cory, up to when we
diverged after arriving here would be there as well.
"God bless you, Rini. God be with you always," Fathei Pete intoned, and made
the sign of the cross.
By my own choice I was far away when they reactivated her, but I kept in touch
with Cory and Father Pete by phone and knew that all went well. The child,
which they worried about until they saw it, was a seven-pound, six-ounce baby
boy, and mother and baby were doing fine, although there didn't appear to be
any way known to get hair to grow on that head again.
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Well, mine, neither, but I had some fairly comfortable short-hair wigs and was
sure she did, too, so it wasn't any big deal. [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]