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Embarrassed, Ryan turned away.  I doubt it.
 Why not? You think just because he s who he is that he doesn t have the same kind of
weaknesses as everybody else? Do you have any idea how many Presidents have had affairs while
they were in office? She let the question hang for a moment, then answered it herself.  Most of
them.
 I know that. But I m not the kind of person people fall in love with. Let s be honest, I m not
exactly Marilyn Monroe  am I? 
 I should hope not, poor woman. You don t imagine Doug would deal with you as unkindly as
Kennedy did with her, do you?
 No, of course not. But I m & 
 Older and more cynical? Not as cute in a gown? Kirsten teased.  Lighten up, Chad. You want
him, don t you? Don t try to pretend you don t.
 Mrs Kearney! How am I supposed to answer that? It s a closed question.
  Mrs Kearney?  she repeated, gently.  Try to remember that my name is  Kirsten . And you
don t really need to answer; the way you stood up with him against Maddocks was an answer in
itself. You love him, don t you?
The quietly insistent tone of a confessor broke through his limited attempts at defense. He leaned
forward, hand over his eyes, and she saw rather than heard his lips form the answer.  Yes.
 Then he ll move Heaven and Earth to get what he wants, she whispered, putting a hand on his
shoulder.  Haven t you learned that about him by now?
 Yes, of course. But how could I ever imagine that I & 
 & would be what he wanted? she finished for him.  I understand that. She paused, then
started again on a different tack.  Tell me something, Chad. Tell me what you want out of the
relationship. I don t suppose anybody s got around to asking you that yet, have they?
 Ha! He gave a cynical little laugh and met her gaze levelly, but she could see hurt in his eyes.
 What does anybody want in a relationship? Marriage. A split-level three-bedroom in a select
neighborhood, two children and a dog. Two cars in the garage, country club membership, a husband
who comes home every day at five o clock and never so much as looks at another Colonel.
Kirsten s smile grew warmer. If he were still strong enough to joke about this, there was every
chance he could survive without being overwhelmed.
 You, Chad, she soothed.  Not Marilyn Monroe. What do you want?
He sat back in the seat, looking considerably older than his years.  How can I tell you when I
don t even know myself? He stopped.  A man, I suppose. What I don t want, Kirsten, is someone
else s husband. Or a President, if it comes to that.
 Unfortunately they re part of the deal, the First Lady reminded him.  At least for a while. As
long as he s in office, you ll just have to take him as he is  job, wife and all. You know you have
the wife s blessing, she added, softly.  If you can work your way around the demands of the job, I
think the two of you have every chance of being happy together. Don t let a Victorian throwback
like Howard Maddocks color your judgment, Chad. You and Doug are a couple; if I can see that,
why can t you?
 Because he scares the living shit out of me, he told her seriously.  He s so many people I don t
know.
 And some of them love you, don t they?
He did not answer immediately. He had turned his sightless gaze towards the window with its
vista of green parkland, icing-sugar masonry, colorful planting and a sky of tranquil blue. He was
asking himself that very same question and trying to find an honest answer.  I think so, he
admitted at length.
Kirsten sat back in her seat.  Then hang on in there, she advised.  Maddocks can probably be
won round eventually  he s just a dinosaur. He was never in favor of relaxing the rules on gays in
the military in the first place and he likes you about as much as he likes me, and for very similar
reasons. A strong gay man is an oxymoron as far as he s concerned.
 Like  military intelligence ?
 Just like. Women and gay guys are equal lowest in Howard s estimation, and he despises Doug
for having anything to do with either one of us. It s up to you and me to prove him wrong, that s all.
I don t know about you, Chad, but I get itchy shoulder-blades around the man.
 I know what you mean, Ryan told her, with a weary sigh.  We can cope with our enemies
without difficulty, but may Heaven protect us from the machinations of our friends.
6.
Two weeks afterwards the First Lady flew to Nigeria to honor her volunteer commitment with
MSF, and on the same day Berry and her agents set off for Florida to stay with Kirsten s parents.
For a few days the routine continued much as before even in their absence, but then Kearney and
Booth became involved in preparing for the first of a series of strategic meetings with European
premiers, and Ryan took advantage of the opportunity to begin looking at apartments and houses in
the city suitable for Presidential use. It was a dispiriting exercise, however, and he was glad to
abandon it midway through the second week to fit in the promised visit to Berry and her
grandparents.
Kirsten s parents were sprightly seniors with a house full of dogs and grandchildren and an open-
hearted welcome for visitors of all shapes and sizes. This was something of a novelty in Ryan s
existence and a source of extreme culture shock to him; family life had more or less passed him by,
and he was almost overwhelmed by their eager inclusiveness even though he was to all intents and
purposes merely a government employee. But Berry s Secret Service attendants were treated in
exactly the same fashion and as they were young and energetic in a way Ryan could only envy, they
seemed more than capable of keeping pace with their charge even at her most manic.
But Berry s grandparents were not so uncritically adoring that they could not relish the idea of
getting the whole circus out of their elegantly graying hair for a few blissful hours, and so the
prospect of  Uncle Chad pied-pipering their grand-daughter and her agents off to one of the local
theme parks was greeted with enthusiasm by them both. Thus, suitably attired and with appropriate
security, Ryan and Berry ate junk food and spent more time than he would have liked on white
knuckle rides of various descriptions, and afterwards he stayed for dinner with the assembled
family, shared a drink with Kirsten s father and heard his memories of service in Korea, and
eventually returned to his hotel for the night. Shortly after lunch on the following day he was back
at National, linking up with a White House pool car and driver for the short journey back to the [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]