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He calmed, although he snorted a few times and his nostrils still flared. I didn t blame him. The
large room smelled awful, like manure, throw up and blood. I approached the horse with
extreme caution, keeping the phantom mare between me and the horse s hooves. Carefully,
carefully I undid his lead and backed away.
I walked on unsteady feet over to the big doors, giving a wide berth to the horse and
threw them open. Here, horsie, horsie. Come on. You re a good boy. You did a good job, now
run free. Go!
A horse is much smarter than I ever thought. He saw that opening and went for it,
leisurely walking out the doors and into the sunshine.
I looked around, found a phone mounted on the wall and, with shaking fingers, dialed
911. I& I need help. A man horse tranquilized me and tried to make me his brood mare, which I
really don t want to be, so I hit him on the head with an artificial vagina before he was stomped
on by a horse.
I stayed on the line with the operator, most likely so he could confirm I wasn t a
complete nut job making it all up for attention. On top of that, he had someone start a fire
somewhere in the national forest to kill my boyfriend! He s dead, I know he s dead!
Ten agonizingly long minutes later the first cop car rolled up. I don t know if he was the
sheriff, police, SWAT or with the Royal Mounties. He came in a car with a light bar on top and
had a gun strapped to his hip. Worked for me. The rest of the cavalry followed right behind and
rescued me. But the horse saved the day.
***
I was beside myself in the back of the ambulance. Dread and sheer panic over the
possibility of Ty actually being dead made me a terrible patient. The paramedic probably had a
less diplomatic word in mind to describe my demeanor. In fact, they threatened me with sedation
if I didn t calm down.
By the time I got to the ER, I was seriously considering another sedative. The hurt and
sadness overwhelming me would quickly be dulled by a little something in the IV now sticking
out of my arm. I lay on a gurney, my clothes swapped for a lovely pale blue hospital gown. A
flimsy blanket was pulled up to my waist. The air conditioning was set to tundra, the smell of
antiseptic and rubbing alcohol permeated the air. Better than the scent of vomit. My mouth felt
as if I hadn t brushed my teeth in a week, but at least my stomach was calm. No nausea, thank
goodness. Wires attached to sticky electrodes stuck out every which way from me and into a
machine that beeped quietly. What wasn t so quiet was the shouting coming from outside my
closed curtain.
I don t care if she s a hibernating bear. I m going in there.
Ty. He was alive! His voice, all gruff with anger, sounded wonderful. Papers rustled, a
grunt, the curtain ripped aside, practically pulled from the metal rod at the ceiling. Ty moved
like a bull through Pamplona.
His green pants and yellow fire shirt were covered in dirt and black soot. Skin darkened
by fire and sun. Eyes wild with& fear, anxiety. He stopped dead, still three feet away, his eyes
searching my body, more intimately than the doctor s examination.
Jesus, Jane. He ran a hand over his face, smearing the blackness that covered it.
Tentatively, he approached the gurney and placed a hand on the blanket, squeezing my
foot gently as if afraid to touch me.
I sat upright and held my arms out, words stuck behind the big glob of tears lodged in the
back of my throat. He let out a deep breath and sat carefully on the gurney, pulling me to him as
far as the tubing and wiring would allow. Once his arms were around me, I started crying. I
couldn t stop for God knows how long, finally hiccupping to an unattractive finish while Ty held
me, rubbing my back.
I thought you were dead, he murmured, my head tucked under his chin. His smoky,
sooty shirt smelled like a week long barbeque and sweat, but I didn t care.
I thought you were dead, I sniffled.
The curtain was yanked back once again. Goldie barreled in and over to the opposite side
of the bed from Ty, all fluttering hands, teased hair and bad words. Her high heeled mules click-
clacked on the linoleum floor. She finally pulled herself together enough to speak. I thought
you were both dead. I can t believe it. I ve been in Billings all day, talking to the& oh, for
heaven s sake. Who would have thought that man& Are you sure you re& I mean really.
I d never seen Goldie so flustered she couldn t complete a full sentence. So
discombobulated she didn t have on any lipstick, her ponytail askew. She stroked a hand over
my hair in a motherly way and plopped down on the bed next to me.
She took a restorative breath. I m sure you re sick to death of answering questions, but
will you please go over it again for me? Obviously she was desperate for details, but I could
tell she didn t want to upset me.
Ty stood up and moved to sit in the utilitarian chair next to the bed. They didn t aim for
comfort in the ER. I was cold without his body heat and I shivered. He looked much more
relaxed now. Calmer, not happier. In fact, he looked downright angry. Wariness crept in. Angry
at me?
I haven t given much of a statement yet. I tucked my hair behind my ear, realized it
was snarled and tangled. Good thing there wasn t a mirror around. I could only imagine what I
looked like.
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