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perspiration and heat. A faint scent rose up from her lavender and he leaned closer to draw in
a deeper breath.
 Are you smelling my hair?
Jake forced a wry grin.  I can t help it. You smell good.
 Keep your nostrils away from my hair, would you? Her words sounded harsh, but she
spoke with a playful tone.
 Yes, ma am.
 Don t  ma am me, I m five years younger than you.
 Yes, Little Twerp.
Sophie glared.  You re getting on my very last nerve. Now focus. I need to tell you
something.
 I m listening.
Sophie sat silent for a while, gathering her thoughts. When she finally spoke, her voice was
low and steady.  I know you re not leaving because you messed up with the amphitheater. Your
decision has to do with something much bigger.
Good God, Jake thought. Brett and Sophie were mind readers. Had he been so transparent?
  I realize you re worried about becoming a severe obsessive-compulsive like your mom and
that s why you chase away any woman who gets close. But I ve done my own research, and I
don t see any signs of it in you. I know  she broke off when he tried to speak, shushing him
with a finger on his lips.  I know it s hereditary, I know you could someday have it as severe as
your mom. But I also know that only in your mind does this mean you can t have a relationship.
Her finger brushing against his lips distracted him for a moment. He watched her jaw clench,
her mouth thin.
With a shake of her head, Sophie resumed speaking.  Why do you think everyone else would
be destroyed by the effects of this illness just because your dad was? Did you ever stop to think
that he was a weak man, and that he may have been an alcoholic before your mom got worse?
Sophie bit the side of her lip and stared straight ahead.  Your dad wasn t strong maybe he
didn t even know how to love. It sounds like he blamed your mom for something she couldn t
help and that he used her illness as an excuse to drink. But just because your dad was a failure
at loving a person with OCD doesn t mean that everyone else will be. You ve allowed others to
be close, to lean on you your sister for one, Brett and Wyatt also. Why won t you let in a
woman, someone who loves you? Why won t you allow yourself to love?
He looked down at his feet. He didn t want to hear this didn t want her to try to talk him
into something he d talked himself out of a long time ago.
 This hasn t been an easy decision for me. He paused.  Walking away from you will be the
toughest thing I ll ever have to do.
Sophie blew out a breath of air.  The walking away part, Jake, it s your choice. I m not going
to twist your arm to make you stay. But I want you to hear me out, at least. Will you do that for
me?
 Jake watched Sophie s face grow dewy from the heat. The humidity did a number of her hair;
today it was close to how it looked when she was a kid wild, puffy, a halo around her head.
Leaving her would create a hole in his heart he knew he d never be able to fill.
Jake reached for her hand.  Yes, I ll listen, he said.
Sophie jutted out her jaw, readying herself.  For the first time ever I feel loved by someone
other than my brother or my two best friends. I feel admired, respected and cared for. I see
myself through your eyes a competent, intelligent, beautiful woman. I can look in the mirror
and see who you see.
She spoke passionately, moving him, forcing him to look beyond the walls he built. Jake
wanted to speak, but she plunged on.
 I can tell you, she said,  that if you did have OCD and were with someone who truly loved
you, they d just set their clock ahead so you wouldn t be late going to the movies if you had to
count to one hundred before opening the door. They d keep hand sanitizer in their purse, and
would leave rulers strategically placed around the house so you could measure the lengths of the
blinds.
 From the little I know of OCD, I don t think you have it. But even if you did, I love you
enough, value you enough, and think highly enough of you that I d risk all to be with you. And if
that means I d have to get a bigger purse to carry around hand sanitizer and a ruler, I d do it.
Jake knew he was squeezing her hand too tight, but he felt frozen. Sophie didn t know what
she was saying; couldn t understand what she offered.
 I know you think that now, Jake said,  but if it starts happening, you ll feel differently. I
won t risk putting you through that.
 Don t think for me, Jake. Don t decide for me which risks I m going to take. Don t you dare
tell me what I m capable of handling. She reached over and grabbed his chin, forcing his eyes
to hers.
 You told me once to believe in myself, but it s hard to take advice from someone who won t
believe in his own value as a person flawed or perfect. But I did listen to you; I did take your
advice.
Her fingers stroked his temple, easing the wrinkle between his brows.  I looked to you to
save me when the Festival was floundering. Because you taught me to believe in myself, this
time I looked to myself to solve the problem.
Jake watched Sophie stand. She handed him the folder she d been looking at a few moments
before.  This is for you. If you change your mind about leaving the directorship after you read
this, let me know. If you re still determined to  save me from a life I see as beautiful and you
see as potentially flawed, there s nothing I can do besides let you go. You leaving the Festival,
leaving me, isn t what I want by no means. But I want more to see you happy. I really, truly
want to see you happy.
He watched her walk away, his chest squeezing tight, like iron gates closing over his heart.
The muggy heat muffled the thud of the heavy door. When he realized he could still smell the
lavender of her hair, he swore. It should never have been this way.
* * * *
It wasn t until later that evening that Jake read her report. He d finished a lonely meal of
grilled salmon, salad and steamed broccoli, and had settled down on his porch swing with a glass
of California cabernet sauvignon and Sophie s report.
 It didn t take long to realize what she meant when she said that this time she saved herself.
She d done it Sophie solved the amphitheater problem. Jake let out a sharp laugh, his smile
growing wider by the second. He read further, engrossed in her plan, amazed at how clever she d
been in getting around the parking problem.
There would be no parking at the amphitheater. It was that simple no parking.
Sophie petitioned the local high school to allow use of its parking lot during performance
nights. Patrons would park at the high school and be shuttled to the amphitheater in cushy tour
buses. The local bus company donated its busses and drivers for rehearsals and performances in
return for free advertising.
Jake put the report down. He stared at the deep red liquid in his wine glass, turning it slowly,
watching it catch the light spilling from his window. Sophie had done this and in doing so, she
kept alive the dream of Jemiah and the others, Jake included.
He heard something a slight sound breaking through the cacophony of crickets and frogs.
The sound came again and again, until he realized what he heard were raindrops. The heat wave
had broken. A light wind brushed by, cool, carrying the strong scent of wet grass and leaves.
Jake walked to the middle of the lawn, flung his arms open, and tilted his face to receive the
cool, wet drops clearing the sky, the earth; clearing his mind.
* * * *
Sophie tried to gauge Jake s mood the following morning when he arrived at work. He didn t
look particularly happy, but he didn t seem in a fury, either. Her stomach clenched. When Jake
came to stand in front of her, she felt like she would throw up. She was brave yesterday, but
somehow this morning fear had crept in. [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]